How to Overcome Self Pity
It may seem impossible to overcome self pity once you're in that negative place where things all seem to be piling up and going wrong and there doesn't appear to be a solution. It is not impossible. It is possible. You can reset the negative emotions you feel and gather your energy and go on to fight another day.
Self pity is a vicious cycle of thinking and worrying and thinking and worrying, usually mulling over mistakes of the past and not being able to break out of that loop and find new solutions and new energy. It is a mental place of being stuck. Like a car tire in the mud or a skip on a record album, you're not moving forward. To get unstuck you have to approach the problem differently. The key is finding new energy and finding a new way to look at the problems at hand.
The most powerful solution is a physical one - get physically active. When we're having a pity party and mentally exhausting ourselves, doing a physical activity is the last thing that sounds good but it will help the most. Physical activity that raises the heart rate and gets the blood pumping floods your neurotransmitters with serotonin and dopamine, which cause you to feel happier. It's like an automatic reset switch on your brain and all you need to do is run, walk briskly, swim, jump up and down, just shake up that body and physically jar it out of the rut. Many other positive things happen during exercise that increase mental capacity and problem solving. In other words, physical activity makes you smart!
Along with the increase in physical activity, try to lead your mental activity along a more positive path. Be careful of the questions you ask. Our brain is a powerful computer and what you ask is what it will focus on answering. If you ask "Why am I such a failure?", your brain will get to work on answering that exact question! Answers may be "Because I can't get anything right." or "Because I never had a chance from the beginning." and on and on. You can increase the feelings of pity and sadness by asking that kind of question. Instead, ask a new question. Ask yourself "What can I do to improve my life?" or "How can I feel better and be more productive today?" Your brain works just as hard on those questions and will give you answers that are much more useful!
Another way to guide your brain is to purposely change the subject. Instead of dwelling on all the things that have gone wrong or are going wrong, force yourself to make lists of what is going right. This creates gratitude and it is a powerful weapon in fighting off pity. Even when it seems that nothing is going right - start with anything at all you can think of. Be grateful for a single breath, or one single person in your life. Start there and build your list. Everything you can think of, add it to the list and review the list every time you feel yourself slipping back into the dark place of self pity.
Whenever possible, try to walk or be active physically while going through your Gratitude List in your mind. The two are very powerful together!
Another physical tip is 'Fake it till you Make it' which means check your body and ask yourself does it give off the message of energy and success or one of failure and negativity? Stand tall, take deep breaths, and very importantly - look UP. Smile. Even if you do not feel happy or positive, the simple act of forcing yourself to look up instead of down at the ground and forcing a smile on your face actually changes thought patterns in your brain and starts new energy forming.
Give these ideas a solid try and you should find that you are able to overcome self pity!
Get more help to overcome self pity and find out how you can stop yourself from wallowing in self pity.
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