Self Esteem

Shyness happens to us all at times. Maybe it's an unfamiliar situation that causes us to become shy. Or maybe we've used shyness as a defence mechanism to stop our feelings getting hurt. Whatever the reason, there are times when you need to learn to overcome your shyness so that you can live a fuller life. Here are five tips you can start using straight away.

1. Find a way to feel more comfortable

Sometimes our shyness is just the outcome of us feeling uncomfortable. It's not called a comfort zone for nothing - we all have boundaries that we prefer to keep inside, even seemingly successful people.

If your shyness is just the outward sign of you feeling uncomfortable, you need to find a way to either avoid the situation altogether or stretch your comfort zone so that you're no longer shy and retiring in that situation.

2. Pretend you're an actor

Actors are often deeply shy. Whilst there are exceptions, you only have to watch some of them when they're being interviewed by reporters to see that they are barely literate without a script. In fact, they can be quite disappointing to watch when they're not acting out a role.

Flipping that idea round means that you could pretend you're an actor when you're in a situation that causes you to feel shy. Act your way out of it - literally.

3. Relax and smile

Shyness causes most people to tense up.

Other people around you will sense that and will start to do things that accentuate your shyness. Often completely unintentionally.

So relax a bit - shake your arms and legs when you're out of sight in the hallway or restroom to quite literally shake the tenseness out of your body.

And force a smile onto your face - you'll find that other people will naturally become more welcoming when you do this, which will help your shyness to melt away.

4. Stand up straight

Your posture makes a big difference.

Standing up straight automatically boosts your confidence levels - it sounds weird but when you try this you'll see that it really does change how you feel.

It also gives you more of an air of authority. People see you, see a confident pose, and act accordingly. Which is to treat you with a bit more friendliness mixed with respect. In turn, this will help reduce your shyness without you needing to do much else.

5. Go thrill seeking

This isn't something that you can do every day but you can certainly do it every now and then.

It could be a roller coaster that you've never plucked up the courage to ride. It could be a ride in a speed boat or a fast bike or car. The adrenalin rush will spill over into how you feel and whilst you're on an endorphin high after the thrill you've experienced your shyness will have left you completely.

Of course, it's great if you can find a way to anchor that feeling - you can do this as simply as squeezing something like your thumb and middle finger together when you're experiencing the thrill and then re-squeezing them to bring back the thrill. It sounds odd but it works nicely.

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