Self Esteem

Life ain't easy. Toss in some human interaction and our lives can really seem tough. Here's the deal: it's all in your head.

Building confidence is all about perception: yours and that of others. This article is all about how other people see you and the assumptions they make.

You know what stinks about not dealing with this problem now? It'll only get worse. I've never met a single person that wants to have LESS friends. Are you at the point where you've almost given up?

Don't! There is hope! Problem is, the solution starts with you. Let's take a look at 3 reasons you may be repelling instead of attracting others.

Your Breath Reeks: It may not just be your breath. It could be the way you dress (sloppy?), your lack of personal hygiene (no Old Spice?) or your weight. Some aspect of your physical being could be killing your chances. You don't have to be the best looking dude in the room, but it sure as heck helps if you're squared away. You do know they sell sugar free mint gum now, right? Don't let little bad habits get in the way of expanding your friendships. Take a personal inventory. Ask a co-worker. Ask your Mom. Find out what's repulsive and fix it.

Crappy Attitude: I like an occasional snarky joke just like the next guy, but an unending waterfall of negative jokes and comments is a quick way to NoFriendVille. Check the attitude at the door, don't joke at expense of others and focus on wearing a permagrin (not really, that would be scary). Bottom line: if you want to have the confidence to continue building great relationships, you need to have a positive and supportive attitude. Only you can fix that.

Baby in the Corner: What did Patrick Swayze say? "Nobody puts Baby in the corner." Damn straight. You should have the same attitude. Start your confidence building mission by not putting yourself in the corner. Stop being a wallflower. Get involved in the conversation. Say hello to a stranger. If you're stressed out about not being included, find a new group. Make a new group.

Did any of this resonate with you? Are you coming to the harsh reality that Bobby left you because he couldn't stand your racist jokes? Did you just remember that your last girlfriend mentioned something about a teeth cleaning before she left for good? Realizing that you never said one word in your whole semester in Wine-Making 101?

Make a conscious decision that you will start building your confidence today. Look in the mirror and make a change.

What change will you make?

Carlos Cooper is a speaker and trainer. He focuses on helping men develop their inner Warrior. A former Marine, Carlos also host a weekly radio show. Visit him online here: http://www.carloscooper.com/. Subscribe for his FREE newsletter here: http://forms.aweber.com/form/64/1923406764.htm

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Most people suffer from the effects of shyness, or low self esteem, from time to time and it can be very difficult to get past those feelings. It is far easier to lose oneself in thoughts of self-doubt or self-criticism than it is building self esteem and these are the things that bring on shyness in the first place and we must spend time building confidence if we are to get past the often devastating effects of shyness.

If one wishes to be everything they can be, it is critical that they get past their self doubt and move on toward a more confident person. Here are some tips that can help anyone do that.

Building Confidence Comes From Within

• Build the feeling of self acceptance. In other words learn to love who you are. We are all unique and special individuals, even if none of us will ever be perfect. By embracing who you are, and understanding that you have something special to give to the world, you can step out of your comfort zone and begin building confidence.

• Create a no fear mentality. There really is nothing to fear, as far is conversation is concerned, no matter where you are or who you are with. That fear of saying something wrong or doing crazy things is what holds many people back and prevents them from building self esteem.

• Believe that you are valuable. This is not going to happen with the blink of an eye, but with time you will learn to believe that you have something to offer to others. Speak to yourself about the confidence you want to gain and the very words will sink in and you will eventually become what you have predicted.

• Building confidence takes motivation. Spend time learning about what builds self esteem by listening to motivational speakers or reading their work. Learn to appreciate your strengths and tell yourself about them often.

• Self development is one of the best things you can do to start building confidence. Practice makes perfect is something I heard a lot as a child, and it serves me well in my adulthood. Through careful preparation it is possible to start building self esteem right away. Learning new things adds to your self development and increases self confidence by adding to your conversation starters.

Building Confidence From The Outside

• Create your image. Everyone knows that we are attracted to people by their looks. That does not necessarily mean that we are looking for the most beautiful features, but it does mean that we want to be around people who look good. By creating a great smile, good posture, shoulders up and head held high, you can add much to a well groomed appearance and become attractive to others.

• Learn to speak up about topics you are familiar with. The more you are able to speak with others about things you are knowledgeable about, the more you will be building confidence to face the rest of the world. You may not be the center of attention when you are engaging others in conversation, but your efforts will go a long way toward building self esteem to take you through the rest of your life.

If you work on these tips just a little every day, you will rapidly build the confidence you are seeking. It doesn't take a special gift of gab or the intelligence of a rocket scientist to develop self esteem and go beyond shyness, so get out there and make it work for you.

For more information about practical ways of building self esteem and to access personalised communication skills training visit http://www.conversationstarters.biz/

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Adolescence can be a turbulent time for young ladies and building self esteem in teenage girls can seem like a daunting task. However, there are several things that one can do to help young women see themselves in a better light. Here are 10 helpful suggestions for building self esteem in teenage girls.

Let them know that they do not have to compete with super models. If you watch television you would think that everyone is thin, pretty, and full of poise. In reality, the world is made of people with many imperfections. This is a good subject to discuss with your teen at any time.

Ask your teen questions instead of giving orders or suggestions. Your teen is going through some major changes. Some of these changes are physical and some are emotional. When you ask someone to do something you are showing respect for them as a person.

Try to find ways to treat teens as adults. Teens are not mature adults, but they are no longer little children either. One of the biggest complaints that young ladies have is their parents treat them as children. Maybe you can extend their curfew a bit or add other privileges. If you are interested in building self esteem in teenage girls, let them know that they are becoming young women.

Maybe your young lady has problems with acne or her weight. Personal appearance is extremely important at this age. Let her know that you are there to help in any way. Schedule a doctor appointment, as sometimes this can help. In any manner, your teen needs to know that she can call on you for anything at anytime.

Set a good example. Kids learn so much from watching their parents. If you think your teen has a problem with self esteem, she may have learned it from you. Think about how you conduct yourself around others. If you think that you have a low opinion of the person in your mirror, then maybe you should work on that first before helping your teen.

You cannot stop classmates from teasing your teenage girl. However, you can discuss the matter with her. If you think that your teen is being harassed it is important to do something about it. This kind of thing can wreak havoc with confidence at this age. Let your teen know that people with the most inner problems do the most teasing to draw attention away from themselves. This may not be the solution, but it may help her to understand others a little better. In any manner, take these matters seriously and seek out school officials if you must.

If you are thinking about building self esteem in teenage girls, encourage them to write a diary or journal. Let them know that no one else will be reading it, and it is vital to respect their privacy. When a girl sits and writes about her problems, it provides an outlet for many frustrations. It also gives her a chance to come back later and closely examine her thoughts, desires, fears, and private feelings.

Teach your teen the importance of confidence and not taking what others think too seriously. You cannot fix everything that is wrong with her. In fact, that is the last thing that she probably wants. She wants someone to love, care for, and understand her. She wants someone to be on her side no matter what. When building self esteem in teenage girls, this is something that you as a parent can do.

You may need to spend more time with your young lady. It does not have to cost a lot of money. Maybe you can walk together in the evenings. Walking is great exercise and it gives you the chance for some one on one conversation. Simply tell her that you need to start walking and you would like to have some company when you walk. Do not insinuate that the walking is for her benefit. Simply tell her that you need a walking buddy.

When building self esteem in teenage girls try learning something new with her. Maybe you want to study a foreign language or learn how to play chess. The time together can be very therapeutic for both of you.

For more information on building self esteem in teenage girls, and other topics on self esteem, gaining courage, strength and confidence. Go to http://www.eselfesteem.org/ here you will more interesting articles.

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It doesn't matter what you want to do in life, you need a certain level of self-esteem in order to achieve it. The only problem with this is that there are so many people out there, ranging from the young to the old, male or female, in thousands of cultures from around the world that actually suffer with rather low self-esteem. This low confidence can hinder your process when it comes to the jobs that you want to get, life goals that you wish to fulfill and in general, can lead for a rather scared life where you do not have the capacity to do half the things you ever wanted to.

Thankfully, there are a number of activities that you can participate in, in order to build your levels of self-esteem and the sooner that you start on such tasks, the quicker you will find that you are much more confident in your own abilities.

What Are You Good At?

Everyone is good at something. Whether it is drawing, sculpting, creating music, writing or just being good with your hands; each and every one of us has a talent for something in life. Why not use this talent in order to boost your self-esteem? You can take part in shows or competitions that are focused on your talent or hobby and if you are good at them, you will usually find that you are scored quite highly. Having the fact that you are actually good at something confirmed publicly will boost your self-esteem massively and you will find that you will be more likely to participate in group activities such as this in future, once your confidence has been built up a little bit.

Join A Group!

Sometimes a little bit of socializing is all it takes to raise your levels of self-esteem and confidence. If it is your weight that causes your confidence problem, why not join a weight-loss group in your area? You will meet like-minded people that have the same confidence issues as you, and you can help each other through the good times while still congratulating each other through the bad at the same time. You will find that if you look online or in your local media and newspapers, that there are plenty of groups that you can join, no matter what your interests, (or issues) and through these groups you can find people that you can socialize with!

Raising your self-esteem does not have to be a difficult task. What you do need to remember is that it will take time for your plan of attack to work but eventually you will find that you feel better about yourself. All it takes is for you to take the first step.

Susan is a full-time freelance writer. She is an avid traveler and reader and enjoys writing on health & fitness, travel, parenting, relationships and personal development.

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