Self Esteem

Have you ever experienced feeling awkward and shy when you are out with others because you lack the techniques that make effective conversation starters? When this happens, you can feel as if no-one likes you, wants to talk to you or even that you don't belong there.

Really, all this means is that you are not practiced at using conversation success strategies. So, to begin with you need to know how to start a conversation the simple way. It's surprising how much difference this little technique will make.

You are probably used to starting a conversation with something like this:

You: "Hi, how are you?"
Response: "Good. And you?"
You: "Great"

Once the intro is out of the way you are faced with an uncomfortable pause. Both parties glance around the room as if the answer for how to get out of this awkward situation is somewhere out there. Now you are thinking "What next?" and feeling mighty uncomfortable too. What normally happens next is one or both of you quietly move away or one watches the other disappear. And this reinforces your own perception that you are not easy to like. You might even promise yourself that you will wait for someone else to start and so shrink back into the shadows to spend the evening watching everyone else have a good time. Of course this all reinforces that you are no good at striking up conversations and you swear that you will avoid coming again.

The good news is that this is very easy to change and the torture of these kinds of conversations can be relegated to the past. So, how do you do achieve it? Its simple really.

All you need to do is to give a little more information about yourself and the other person will have something to springboard off into a conversation. Try this next time someone asks you how you are. Try saying "I'm good. I've just come back from a lovely holiday and I feel so relaxed." By adding in a little extra you have opened up possibilities for the other person to ask "Oh? What did you do?" or perhaps "Sounds great. I've just come back from Alaska, myself." This, in turn, gives you the opportunity to ask them about their holiday or you can talk about what you did on yours - even if you didn't do anything special you can say something like "I had a lovely time at home sorting out those things you never seem to get to when you work all the time."

Can you see how a great conversation starter provides the impetus for getting into a really rewarding conversation. And all you did was give a little more information rather than a single word answer.

The point of this simple technique is not to reveal all your deepest thoughts and fears. Its not about telling your life story - its simply about adding in a few details so that people can converse with you and for you to get the opportunity to find out a little bit about them.

You can see how it takes just a little effort to completely change how a conversation goes. Add that little bit extra in the first exchange and you will find that conversations are fun and interesting. You will discover new and interesting facts about people you interact with every day.

You have learned an amazingly easy conversation starter. For more secrets, don't wait go right now to http://www.conversationstarters.biz/

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It's really quite simple to come up with conversation starters. No need to give in to that racing pulse, the breathlessness and the feverish thinking any more. And best of all, you don't have to memorize questions beforehand. Take a minute to think about this. Starting conversations does not have to be forced. They can and should be natural and relaxed.

First off, in situations where you are meeting new people, remember to introduce yourself by walking up to them with a smile and your hand extended. Don't worry; this will encourage them to engage with you. Once you have physical contact, the rest flows very naturally. The key is to remember pace your introduction. Use pauses to let the other person hear and process what you are saying.

Your introduction should go something like this: "Hello (pause for a couple of seconds). My name is (pause for a second) Roger. (Pause again). And you are? (pause, look at them and smile again).

You should've let their hand go by now and they will be answering you. So, listen carefully for their name and use it right off. This is how you remember other people's names. You might respond like this: "Nice to meet you, John."

The next set of conversation starters is based on that list of simple topics mentioned earlier. What topic you choose is largely dependent on the type of social occasion. f you are at a networking meeting, you may like to use topics like:

- Work the other person does
- The surroundings
- The speakers

A more relaxed occasion? Then use topics like these:

- Vacations
- Books
- Movies
- Best restaurant

No matter what your conversation starter topic is about, get used to using open questions around the topic. Remember to ask the question in a relaxed way and listen to what the other person says. Their answer will lead to more opportunities to ask other open questions. Here are some examples:

- Where was the last place you went on vacation?
- Where do you plan on going for your next vacation?
- If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?
- What countries have you traveled to?
- What was your worst vacation experience?

Simple, isn't it? Asking friendly questions where there are no simple 'yes 'and 'no 'answers are easy to ask. In the case of vacations - who wouldn't be eager to tell you of their experiences in Europe on their grand tour or perhaps a wilderness adventure in Alaska? "How to start a conversation?" need not be a difficult question.

As you can easily see, each of these questions is a natural follow-on from the previous question. There is no special talent involved here. It is just a natural progression of questions that can open up lots of possibilities. The knack is to ask questions that are difficult to answer with one word. If this does happen to you, don't worry. Just ask another question. Make sure your questions begin with what, where, if you could, and so on.

So, when to tell them something about yourself? Wait until they ask. And if they don't. Only talk about yourself when you feel like you have asked so many questions, it's getting uncomfortable. And how to talk about yourself? Well, that's easy. Just find a related experience and only talk for a sentence or two, followed up with - you guessed it - another open, related question.

Have you ever noticed that this kind of face-to-face conversation is the key to unlocking social confidence? Yes, conversing is a skill-- some would call it an art-- that can be easily learnt. It is truly an ability that is yours for the taking, with just a little effort to learn the techniques.

People who learn these skills find it much easier to make new friends wherever they go. Isn't this a goal worthy of a little effort? And a little effort is all that it takes to become truly confident in making yourself over into a person who can effortlessly engage in interesting conversations no matter what the circumstances are.

Being a skilled conversation starter is widely admired and easy to achieve when you know how. Learn conversation success techniques now. Invest in yourself. Act now at http://www.conversationstarters.biz/

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The ability to increase your self esteem is a problem that most of us will face at one or more times in our lives. At some point a significant problem, or a series of them, will negatively affect our lives. If these problems are not dealt with and processed properly they will have a horrible impact on ourselves and everyone around us. However, if we deal with these problems properly it will create positive benefits to our confidence, health and self image.

The problems that happen to everyone (losing a job or failed business, death of a loved one, health problems of you or a loved one... ) are a part of life. We need to learn to analyze, accept and work through these issues. The problem most of us find is this is easier said than done.

One of the most difficult "emotions" these types of problems attack is our self esteem and confidence. In a moment we will look at a simple technique to combat this problem, but first we need to understand how a low self esteem can hurt us and how a positive one can help us.

Self esteem could be considered the opinion you have of yourself. When life throws difficulties in your way it is easy to let the opinion of yourself, or self esteem, turn negative. A major problem with this is when we do not love ourselves it is nearly impossible to make healthy decisions.

Fear creeps into our mind which makes it difficult to accept change, even if it is positive change. In other words we become complacent regarding bad situations. This can affect both our personal and financial life.

In addition, studies have proven the negative emotions created by low self esteem lower our immune system. There is an increase of inflammation as well as other factors increasing heart disease including high blood pressure, increase of LDL (bad) cholesterol and type 2 diabetes.

The concern here is negative thoughts and emotions increase stress and the health problems involved with constant stress. In addition, people with low self esteem tend to drink more alcohol, smoke more and exercise less. All factors creating a perpetual downward spiral in health, confidence and overall self worth.

On the other hand a positive self esteem allows a person to feel good about themself and how they view others opinion of them. You feel empowered to attack new challenges with confidence and without fear. Because of the positive feeling you have towards yourself you have less doubt (if any) in your abilities.

This in turn leads one to be proud of their health and body increasing positive choices you make towards your exercise patterns and your diet. This creates a positive upward spiral in health and confidence.

This is a simple meditation to take you from the negative thoughts and low self esteem to positive thoughts and a healthy self esteem. If you have 10-15 minutes, that is optimal. However, even using this technique for 2-5 minutes will make huge positive strides for anyone with a negative or low self esteem.

If possible find a quiet place to get comfortable and calm your mind for the allotted time you may have. If you cannot get to a quiet place do the best you can for the time you have. As you are getting comfortable take some deep breaths and feel your body relax. If counting your breath for 30-60 seconds allows you to relax quickly, feel free to utilize this technique.

As you relax focus on your solar plexus chakra. This is your third chakra and located just below your ribs in the center of your chest. The color associated with this chakra is yellow so focus your mind on a bright yellow disk spinning in the center of your body.

While you visualize this bright yellow disk spinning allow positive thoughts and feelings to embrace your entire body, but continue to focus on your solar plexus chakra. Spend your time feeling this energy center open and your self esteem become supercharged!

If you have enough time use the last 2-3 minutes telling yourself positive mantras, "I am great at my job" or "I am worthy of being loved". Your inner self will lead you to the mantra(s) your personal self esteem requires to become positive and healthy. If you are able, say these out loud. If you unable to speak out loud, feel free to say it quietly to yourself.

As you finish, embrace the positive feelings flowing throughout your body. Attempt to do this meditation 2-3 times throughout your day, even if it is only for 2-5 minutes each time. When you have more time, utilize the free tools available on the internet for a more rapid improvement. Now take your life back into your own hands and become the person you want to be!

Access our FREE Online Guided Meditation at: http://www.howtobalancechakras.com/

Our guided meditation uses relaxing music, positive affirmations, color therapy and visual imagery to guide you through balancing your chakra energy centers. Try it today at: http://www.howtobalancechakras.com/

You will feel refreshed and full of energy!

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All around you are living, breathing, interesting human beings who are dying for a little decent interaction. It's funny how we can spend months or years with the same work group, yet hardly know them. But why not?

Maybe you're extremely shy, or maybe you're just lazy. Maybe you don't know how to strike up a conversation with someone new, or maybe you're worried they'll think you're boring. Whatever the case, learning a few key conversation skills can absolutely turn your workplace around. Rather than dreading Mondays, you'll look forward to great conversation success with each person you encounter.

And who knows? - You might just make some great new friends.

Give sincere compliments

Here's the truth: everyone is insecure in some way. Everyone feels that somehow they don't measure up. If you can turn that around, you'll definitely win friends. A huge key to conversation success is paying sincere compliments to folks you encounter.

That girl in accounting? Compliment her meticulous record keeping. That new guy that looks a little out of place? Complement his sharp tie. The cleaning lady that comes in as you're leaving? Thank her for all she does to keep the place looking great. You'll be surprised how far heartfelt, optimistic complements and praise will go with your colleagues and friends.

Ask open-ended questions

If you're trying to strike up a conversation with someone, don't give them the opportunity to bow out with a monosyllabic "yes" or "no". That just puts the ball back in your court to keep the conversation moving.

Instead, one of the greatest conversations skills is the ability to ask open-ended questions. As the other person responds and goes into detail, you have time to listen and ask further question or make comments, effectively keeping the conversational ball bouncing.

Practice active listening

Just remember, you can ask all the great questions in the world, but if you're not truly listening, you won't be much of a conversationalist. Thus, one of our key conversation skills is active listening.

Active listening means not just getting the gist of the words being spoken, but listening for deeper interests and meanings. It also means paying attention to little things that are mentioned in passing. If, for example, your co-worker mentions that they enjoy stamp collecting, go out of your way to learn a little about it (boring as it might seem to you), and bring it up the next time you talk. This shows your stamp-collecting work mate that you are sincerely interested in him as a person.

Not only will you have made someone else feel good about himself, but you'll significantly boost your own day by making someone else's better. Plus, you might just learn something new and interesting in the process.

Be relatable

On the other hand, as much as you might enjoy one of your particular (and obscure) hobbies, not everyone will derive such great joy from discussing it. If you're really looking for conversation success, do try to be relatable.

As you go throughout your day, make note of things that stand out to you as particularly interesting. If you read something in the news, see a particularly good play in a game, or watch a funny viral video, those are great things to share with others. Not only are they entertaining topics, but they are things that others will likely have also noticed, and that will lead to a lively conversation.

These few tips aren't hard to incorporate into your daily life, but they can make a huge difference in your conversation success - and thus, your overall happiness.

Now you know all about how to use conversation skills to improve your day, right now, I invite you to expand your success with this powerful Conversation Success System at http://www.conversationstarters.biz/

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"Too many people over value what they are not and undervalue what they are." - Malcolm Forbes

A strong belief in your abilities and a thirst to prove your mettle are sure shot ways to make yourself shine and achieve your goals no matter how hard or demanding the situation may be. Increasing self confidence is the first step towards success because without the right kind of positive mental attitude, you cannot make your dreams come to reality. It is also very important because if you do not trust your instincts, you will be wary of taking chances. And without taking chances, you will be FAR from success.

In order to become a believer of any sort, you need to love and revere the person. Same is the case with yourself. Appreciating and valuing your capabilities and achievements is very important, because you are your own critic.

If you think of yourself as a high achiever, then it will give you the necessary amount of confidence and satisfaction that are the key points to excel at any aspect of your life, and you will BECOME the person that you THINK you are. Hence, the first thing that can help in increasing self confidence is a regular pat on the back that can make you confident and motivated from within.

When you will be motivated and charged up, you can easily take up any challenge or difficulty that comes your way with the right zing of confidence. Self encouragement is the best motivation that you can get; therefore, regularly tell yourself that you are the best. The more you try the more you will excel and this feeling of being jubilant and victorious will help you in increasing self confidence even more than before.

Thus, you will soon notice that cherishing and loving yourself is a cyclic procedure and grows with every step that you take! Therefore, keep lifting up your spirits and it will in turn lift both your confidence and performance.

Once you have the right amount of confidence in yourself, even failures and difficulties would not be able to stop you. The sense of courage and motivation from within will help you in coping with all the negativities and make you strive harder to transform these failures into ENDEAVORS!

Increasing self confidence is the first step in making life changing decisions; SETTING goals, STRIVING for them and ACHIEVING them. The right boost of confidence not only makes you convincing and appreciable in your approach, but also makes you a better person from inside.

A confident and satisfied aura can turn every opportunity into a shining beacon. If you push yourself with the right bout of confidence, you will start achieving with the same pace. Believing is always the first step to achieving; therefore, increasing self confidence is the first step to increasing your chances to succeed!

"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent." - Eleanor Roosevelt

Peter Green is a Transformational Life Coach, Author and Motivational Speaker. He has spent the last 20 years studying how ordinary people are able to achieve extraordinary success and is dedicated to helping others achieve the life of their dreams. Click for more information about Increasing Self Confidence, or visit Reinvent Yourself for more personal success strategies.

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Improving Self Confidence has to do with first figuring out the cause of self-doubt...

As it turns out, psychologists have made an important discovery in the past few years. We all have what some psychologists call "memes". That is, that which we tend to believe about ourselves. The discovery is that we all think in pictures, or images, so when we encounter something that has made us feel "less than", then we store that image away - for years! So when it comes to improving self confidence, you first need to examine where your inhibitions lie and what caused them.

For example, supposed you had encountered an experience when you were a child and a particular situation embarrassed you, then you would be less likely to even attempt this as an adult.

Authority figures, while well meaning, can sometimes keep us from improving self confidence...

My Dad used to say that a cold comes in through the feet and out through the nose. Whenever I would have a runny nose from allergies, he would remind me that I'm getting a cold and it's because I was barefoot.

Being the rebel I was, I did continue to go barefoot, but also continued with uncontrollable allergies and caught colds all the time! Now I go barefoot all the time still, but I'm rarely sick and have virtually no allergies. So it is possible to change your way of thinking once you target the source of what has keep you from improving self confidence.

Another thing I noticed about myself that may have been cause of self-doubt has to do with interstate driving. Actually, since I really don't like to travel, I never attempted to combat this cause of self-doubt.

But I know where it came from. My mother was always worried about me driving on the interstate and, even when I became an adult, she voiced her concern and worry. This was stored in my brain as an image of my own lack of self confidence with interstate driving. To this day I feel uneasy about interstate driving! (Come to think of it, maybe that's why I don't like to travel today?)

Improving self confidence has everything to do with how you communicate with yourself...

Here's the thing: We all communicate to ourselves in the form of images in the mind.

For example, when you're about to go on stage to give a speech (something that on average frightens more people than death), you could feel your heart beating faster and convince yourself you're having a nervous breakdown and you just can't do it.

Or, you could convince yourself that you're so pumped up and exited that your excitement is sure to be felt by your audience and you just know you're going to be giving a great speech!

But here's what you really need to do first for improving self confidence...

You need to let go of all blame. Did my dad screw me up with the barefoot thing? Sure. Did Mom screw me up with the worry about driving thing? Sure. But they did the best they could. I'm just going to spill the beans here and say that parents are human, and humans make mistakes.

Fortunately, my parent's mistakes were, for the most part, mild. But I have a friend whose mom used to beat her and make her cook the family's dinner and not allow her to have any. But she forgave her and continued on a decent relationship with her in adult life. Because we only hurt ourselves when we can't forgive.

The thing is, if you continue to blame others for your own "lack of self confidence", then you give that "other person" all the power.

If they made, you, then only they can change you. But when you can accept that you were responsible for the way you turned out, then you have the power to change. We all teach people around us how to treat us.

It is a known fact now that the human body has every since changed cell in a seven year span. I find this revolutionizing when I listen to the self-help and marketing MP3 audio files from my I-pod, because the same thing I listened to a few months ago that didn't sink in at all, now suddenly is making sense. It's like every time I listen, I hear with "different ears".

When you're ready to start improving self confidence to bring up your self image and sales techniques, it's time to accept blame on yourself for the past, so you can move onto the new you for the future.

The accepting blame thing is from one of my favorite audios from the Empower Network Inner Circle training, where it's brought out that when you can accept responsibility for how you are, you can simply say to yourself, "well, I now take back that permission to be insecure"... and change your life!  If you're ready to change your life today and listen to audio trainings that can help with improving self confidence as you evolve into a competent internet marketer, AND enjoy making 100% commissions online, CLICK THIS LINK NOW

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To achieve an improved self-esteem is extremely important if you want to feel good about yourself and feel comfortable in social situations in which you are surrounded by different people. In addition, low self-esteem is capable of producing social anxiety, which gives you lots of problems to live a quiet and happy social life.

The following 12 steps to improve self-esteem.

Step 1

Stop comparing with others. There will always be people who will have more things than you, and will always be people who have less than you. If you fall into that game of comparing yourself with people then you will always find "opponents" whom you will not be able to overcome.

The important thing is to celebrate your individuality. Love yourself and accept yourself for who you are. You are a person with much to offer. You should never feel neither superior nor inferior to others.

Step 2

Stop self-criticism. It's time to stop being hard on yourself. You will not be able to increase your self esteem if your internal dialogue is always hesitant about yourself and your abilities. Whether because of your appearance, your job, your relationships, your financial situation or any other aspect of your life, stop the negative inner dialogue that causing much damage and in most cases not is true.

Step 3

When given a compliment you then responds with "thank you very much." Many times when someone congratulate or compliment us on something, the response is always "it is nothing" or "Anyone could have done." When you reject a compliment what you are doing is discrediting yourself. Stop deducting the positive things as if they do not exist (or use a negative filter).

Step 4

Use positive affirmations to increase your self-esteem. Grab an index card or a paper and write down positive affirmations such as "I accept and love myself" or "I am a valuable person with much to contribute and deserves the best like the others. " Take it with you everywhere and at all times.

Repeat these affirmations throughout the day, especially in the morning when you wake up and at night before bed. When you repeat the affirmation enjoy positive feelings and feel good about yourself.

Step 5

Take advantage of workshops, books and any other program on self-esteem. Any material you can come to understand and master that will affect your daily behavior.

If you see negative TV or read a newspapers about murder events and the ugly things of everyday life then you will be cynical and pessimistic. If you read books and listen to positive programs you will absorb and enjoy better vibes every day.

Step 6

Associate yourself with good and positive people. Your self-esteem suffers when you surround yourself with negative people who criticize you or make you feel bad. On the other hand, when you feel accepted and motivated then you feel much better about yourself and your self-esteem grows in a positive environment that makes you feel at ease.

Step 7

Make a list of your personal success. Write down everything you've done that make you feel proud of yourself, this can range from having learned to skate, to graduation from college, having received an award or a promotion at work, successes, reaching a business goal, etc..

Read this list often and when you read close your eyes and recreate those feelings of satisfaction and pride you felt when you achieved such success.

Step 8

Make a list of your positive qualities. Are you an honest person? Do you like to share? You like to help and cooperate? Are you creative? Athletic? Be generous with yourself and write at least 20 positive characteristics about yourself. It is also important that the brush up frequently.

Many people give in to their shortcomings and wonder constantly because their lives are not working the way they expected. Start focusing on your skills, live sure of yourself and then you have a better chance of getting things in life that you both want and deserve.

Step 9

Contribute and help. Start sharing your time and skills with people around you that may be in need. When you do good things for others then you feel useful, valued and good about yourself. This will inevitably raise your mood and increase your self esteem. Search your community on how to make a positive impact.

Step 10

Get involved in work and activities that appeal to you. It's hard to feel good about yourself if the days were spent in a job that you hate. Self-esteem flourishes when you take our time on activities that you truly enjoy and that make you feel good about yourself. Even if you can not change work right now, you can still devote leisure time activities and hobbies that stimulate you and you really enjoy.

Step 11

Be honest with yourself. Live your own life - not the life others have decided is best for you. You will never have respect for yourself if you do not live life the way you want and deserve. If you're making decisions to fit well to other people then you're not being honest with yourself and your self-esteem ends up suffering.

Step 12

Hands up! You will not be able to improve self-esteem if you avoid the challenges of life and the view from afar. The take action - regardless of the outcome - then you feel good about yourself and learn a lot. If you do not take action for fear or anxiety then you will frustratingly live with self-doubt that will lower their self-esteem

For more information on building self esteem and other topics on self esteem, gaining courage, strength and confidence. Go to http://getselfhelp.wordpress.com/ here you will more interesting articles.

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You know the feeling all too well: everywhere you turn it seems as though people are looking at you and judging you. This paranoia rapidly turns into self consciousness and that reinforces the downward spiral of feeling self conscious all the time. Here are some quick and easy tips to help reduce that feeling and help get you back on track to being your normal self.

Do a mirror check

Before going into a room full of strangers, do a quick check in a mirror or even with your reflection in some glass. Check your hair isn't having a bad hair day that it hasn't told you about. If you're male, check your trousers are done up. Even check there's no spinach in your teeth!

This means that you've at least done a quick check that there's nothing glaringly wrong before you go into a room.

Please yourself, not others

This is the next good place to start. Especially when you realize that other people are probably an awful lot more concerned about how they are coming across than you.

Most people are self centered. So unless you're really trying to stand out as being different, there's actually a good chance that you're not sticking out anywhere near as much as your mind is telling you.

So take the time to relax. Take some deep breaths and just be yourself more often rather than trying to conform to what you think other people think you should be (whereas in reality they probably could care less).

Imagine everyone else is naked

This could be quite a scary image - not everyone looks as good in real life as the actors do in most adult movies - but it's a good way to move your mind away from feeling self conscious about you.

OK, if you were the only person clothed in a room full of nudists it could well be that you would feel self conscious. But ignore that side of things and just let your imagination run riot for a while. There's a good chance this will help you to focus away from yourself for long enough that your rational mind has chance to kick in and quell your fears.

Drift out of yourself

Not quite astral projection but similar-ish.

Let yourself become totally detached from the situation that's causing the self conscious side of your nature to run riot.

Instead, view the whole room including yourself as a casual observer or even a reality-television camera that's merely observing what's happening.

This sense of detachment will give you the opportunity to re-assess the situation. There's a very high chance that doing this will show you that you're no weirder than most of the other people in the room.

Learn to ignore that nasty voice in your head

We all have voices in our heads at least some of the time.

Often, we let them speak to us in a way that no human would get away with.

Practice moving the voice elsewhere - putting it in a catapult is a fun way of doing that - even if it comes back later. The short break will give you enough time to regain at least some of your self confidence.

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It may seem impossible to overcome self pity once you're in that negative place where things all seem to be piling up and going wrong and there doesn't appear to be a solution. It is not impossible. It is possible. You can reset the negative emotions you feel and gather your energy and go on to fight another day.

Self pity is a vicious cycle of thinking and worrying and thinking and worrying, usually mulling over mistakes of the past and not being able to break out of that loop and find new solutions and new energy. It is a mental place of being stuck. Like a car tire in the mud or a skip on a record album, you're not moving forward. To get unstuck you have to approach the problem differently. The key is finding new energy and finding a new way to look at the problems at hand.

The most powerful solution is a physical one - get physically active. When we're having a pity party and mentally exhausting ourselves, doing a physical activity is the last thing that sounds good but it will help the most. Physical activity that raises the heart rate and gets the blood pumping floods your neurotransmitters with serotonin and dopamine, which cause you to feel happier. It's like an automatic reset switch on your brain and all you need to do is run, walk briskly, swim, jump up and down, just shake up that body and physically jar it out of the rut. Many other positive things happen during exercise that increase mental capacity and problem solving. In other words, physical activity makes you smart!

Along with the increase in physical activity, try to lead your mental activity along a more positive path. Be careful of the questions you ask. Our brain is a powerful computer and what you ask is what it will focus on answering. If you ask "Why am I such a failure?", your brain will get to work on answering that exact question! Answers may be "Because I can't get anything right." or "Because I never had a chance from the beginning." and on and on. You can increase the feelings of pity and sadness by asking that kind of question. Instead, ask a new question. Ask yourself "What can I do to improve my life?" or "How can I feel better and be more productive today?" Your brain works just as hard on those questions and will give you answers that are much more useful!

Another way to guide your brain is to purposely change the subject. Instead of dwelling on all the things that have gone wrong or are going wrong, force yourself to make lists of what is going right. This creates gratitude and it is a powerful weapon in fighting off pity. Even when it seems that nothing is going right - start with anything at all you can think of. Be grateful for a single breath, or one single person in your life. Start there and build your list. Everything you can think of, add it to the list and review the list every time you feel yourself slipping back into the dark place of self pity.

Whenever possible, try to walk or be active physically while going through your Gratitude List in your mind. The two are very powerful together!

Another physical tip is 'Fake it till you Make it' which means check your body and ask yourself does it give off the message of energy and success or one of failure and negativity? Stand tall, take deep breaths, and very importantly - look UP. Smile. Even if you do not feel happy or positive, the simple act of forcing yourself to look up instead of down at the ground and forcing a smile on your face actually changes thought patterns in your brain and starts new energy forming.

Give these ideas a solid try and you should find that you are able to overcome self pity!

Get more help to overcome self pity and find out how you can stop yourself from wallowing in self pity.

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Many people believe that self confidence is something you either have or don't. This is a self limiting belief and like most self limiting beliefs it simply isn't true. Possessing assured self confidence is a skill that can be developed by anyone and once you do acquire it, you will feel much calmer, less stressed and the quality of your life will significantly improve.

So, if you want to become a person who oozes confidence, then the following 3 ways to build self confidence will help you achieve it.

1. Respect Yourself - The cornerstone of self-confidence is self respect. Many people who lack self confidence are terribly hard on themselves. They put themselves down at every opportunity and beat themselves up over and over again with all of the mistakes they have made. Additionally, they will criticize the way they look, their personalities and negatively brood over difficult times from the past that have been and gone.

It is difficult to be self confident when you disrespect yourself like this. And how on earth can you expect others to respect you if you don't respect yourself?

It is vitally important that you talk to yourself in a positive manner. Be kind to yourself, treat yourself with the same respect you show to others. What you focus on is what you become so focus on the positive. If you make a mistake - and you will, we all do - then learn from it, find the positive and move on.

You'll never rise up if you continually pull yourself down.

2. Look Good, Feel Good - Look after your appearance. When you know you look good, you feel more confident. Wear styles and colors that suit you. You can get help with this from image consultants or use the Internet to find tips and ideas.

Two easy ways to look good: Improve your posture, walk tall with shoulders back. There's plenty of videos on You Tube showing you how to do this. Not only does this communicate confidence to others, it makes you feel more confident too. Combine this with exercising for thirty minutes three times a week and you will easily boost your confidence levels and improve your health at the same time.

One more simple little action to take to help you feel good and build confidence. Cut down on the amount of junk foods and processed foods. As well as being nutritionally poor, they can leave you feeling sluggish and tired. Eat the best fresh food you can, it's another way of respecting yourself and remember: Garbage in, garbage out.

You deserve to eat much better than garbage.

3. Unleash Your Power - You have the power of choice and the quality of your life will be determined by the choices you make. So unleash your power and choose to be self confident. Create a positive environment around yourself by reading positive affirmations on waking. Watch motivating videos on You Tube and search for positive blogs and websites to gain even more inspiration.

As part of this positive environment, you will need to...

4. Good Company - ... associate with positive, like-minded people as often as you can. Negative people will drain you of energy, fill you with limiting beliefs and lower your confidence levels.

Conversely, positive people will inspire you, energize you and their assured self confidence will raise your confidence levels. They are a pleasure to be around too.

5. Be Decisive - Take a decision then resolve to follow through with it. Don't look for the approval or permission of others. Make the decision to do something that you want to do and then take action to get it done. Being decisive is part of being a confident, assured person who knows what they want to do and takes action to get it.

Start small at first, for example, set a goal to exercise three times a week, changing to a healthier diet or starting the day in a positive manner and then move to bigger goals as your confidence to make decisions and follow through with them improves.

You now know how to develop self confidence quickly by applying these five easy ways. Put each one into action and you will soon notice the results!

For more advanced techniques to help you build self confidence Click Here

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Many individuals have overcome shyness by learning how to communicate better. Now, you can, too! Have you ever stepped into an area full of people who you were not familiar with and felt a bit awkward or self-conscious? Do you experience bouts of anxiety when faced with situations that require you to be social? Are there people you want to talk to or activities that you want to take part in, but hold back due to some unspoken insecurity? If so, you are experiencing shyness. You may be introverted or extraverted. It really does not matter. We all experience bouts of shyness to one degree or another within our lifetime. Did you know that it is possible to successfully engage in overcoming shyness by simply learning how to communicate better? In this guide, you will learn some important facts and strategies that will allow you to eliminate the "shell" that may be holding you back in your personal and professional life.

According to professionals in social psychology, being shy means that an individual experiences apprehension or feelings of discomfort and/or awkwardness when in the same area as others, or when approached by other people. These feelings are often enhanced when in social situations, unfamiliar locations or around people who are unfamiliar. While it is common for everyone to experience shyness at least once in their life to a small degree, many individuals experience it to such a high degree that it results in social anxiety and/or phobias related to social situations, events and experiences. In its most severe forms, individuals that experience shyness may find that it interferes with their personal and professional relationships and hinders them to one degree or another. While many refer to therapy and even anti-anxiety medications to overcome shyness, simply learning to communicate better has also been found to be an effective strategy in overcoming shyness. Not only is this strategy less expensive than therapy and medication, it is also much safer.

When learning to communicate better in order to overcome shyness, it is important to understand the main root causes associated with shyness. The first potential cause is a low self-image. The second root cause is a high pre-occupation with what we are doing, thinking and feeling. The third is engaging in the act of labeling yourself as shy. When learning to communicate better, you will discover that you should not and are not expected to take full responsibility for the conversations that you engage in with others. Communication is an act of expressing thoughts, feelings, ideas and emotions with others while receiving information from that person in return, and vice versa. By simply avoiding taking full responsibility for the conversation and knowing that all the attention is not just on you, you will be taking large strides in overcoming shyness due to insecurities. Remember, the person you are communicating with is likely just as nervous as you are.

In order to communicate better, you must know what the person you are talking to is most interested in. I know this sounds challenging, but it is really quite simple - they are most interested in themselves and what they consider to be important to them. Remember to use the other person's name frequently and ask a lot of questions. Allow the other person to communicate freely and openly about what they want to express to you. Remember to listen and place the emphasis on the person that you are speaking to. By taking these steps, you are taking the pressure and focus off of yourself and inadvertently placing it on them - which should increase your self-confidence and motivation. This will make you an attractive person to talk to and interact with. Overcoming shyness does not have to be a challenging endeavor. Simply take the focus away from your negative thoughts about yourself and your insecurities and place it on the person you are talking with. It is then that you will truly start to communicate better.

For more information about practical ways to communicate better to overcome shyness and get personalised communication skills training visit http://www.conversationstarters.biz/

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Self esteem affirmations are superb if you like to know how to create self esteem and to be more positive and self-reliant. These affirmations are a means of changing the method that you think, particularly the continual idea patterns that influence your self esteem. Most people would certainly benefit from making use of these affirmations, however they are not accustomed to the strategy. This is a pity, as building your own beneficial affirmations can easily bring amazing results.

To develop affirmations, there are a few basic steps you are suggested to follow. When you have actually grasped these, you will see the method is very easy to make use of and very effective in its results. Just follow these couple of simple ideas.

Specify your objectives

First of all, make sure that you are clear about what you are trying to achieve. Start by thinking about exactly what you imply by self esteem. Try to think about an individual (it could possibly be a popular individual or somebody recognized to you) who you deem having high self esteem. This will assist you to recognize what you are trying for, and to base your affirmations upon actions that you have noted in a person with high self self-confidence.

Self esteem affirmations work by influencing your subconscious mind. This part of your mind needs clear directions if it is to alter, and you have to make those directions as clear as possible. So you have to train it to follow certain actions which will certainly raise your self esteem. For example, you may choose that a person with high self esteem would certainly be confident in talking with new individuals, or in grumbling about unsatisfactory service. Whatever you pick, ensure that you prepare a listing of certain actions that you think a confident person would take.

Follow the formula of positive affirmations

There are 4 standard actions to the formula of positive affirmations, all of which are important if the approach is to be effective. Firstly, the affirmations need to be in the present tense (I am, not I will certainly be). Second, they need to be affirmative this implies doing away with the words not and no from your statements. Thirdly, the affirmations should be created in the first individual (I am, not it is really good to). Finally, they have to feature concrete circumstances, instead of abstract principles.

Examples of affirmations following all of these concepts are as follows:

I am assertive in speaking with new individuals.
I am confident in clarifying that I have actually received unsatisfactory service in a bistro.
I am comfy when I converse in foreign languages.
I have a regimented approach to my fat burning program.

You will see that all of these affirmations follow the four standard concepts present tense, affirmative, first individual, and consisting of specific situations.

Practice your affirmations

When you have actually drawn up your affirmations, there is one final step. You have to practice your affirmations on a regular basis. The greatest strategy is to state them out loud twice a day, in the morning and the night. This is a way of training your subconscious mind to accept the reality of the affirmations. We are all familiar with the concept that physical exercise needs to be done on a constant basis, so that the body does not start to lose the benefits of training, and the mind is no different from the body in this respect.

If you follow these steps, you will certainly discover that your self-confidence increases, and that it becomes a natural part of your behavior.

Find out more free ways to improve your self esteem at this Self Confidence

Would you like my brand new free 31 page eBook "How to Become Your Best Self"? Click Here

Lynn Errickson is a Certified Stress Management Consultant.

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To learn how to have self-confidence is directly related to the beliefs we have about ourselves, those qualities, skills, and ways of feeling or thinking that we attribute, make up our personal image or "self-image". The "self" is the assessment we make of ourselves based on the feelings and experiences that we have incorporated throughout life. We are smart or foolish, capable or incapable based on this mental image.

This self-assessment is very important since it largely depends on realizing our potential and our achievements in life. Thus, people who feel excellent about themselves and have a good self-esteem can tackle and solve the challenges and responsibilities that life poses. By contrast, those with low self-esteem tend to limit themselves and fail.

People are complex and very difficult to define in few words. Because there are so many nuances to take into account is important not to generalize just from one or two aspects of the person. The concept of self is developing slowly throughout life. Each stage contributes to a greater or lesser degree, experiences and feelings that will result in an overall sense of worth and disability.

In childhood, we discover that we are boys or girls; we have hands, legs, head and other parts of our body. We also discovered that we are different from others and that there are people who will accept us or reject us. From these early experiences of acceptance and rejection of others is when we begin to generate an idea of what we value and what we prefer to ignore.

A child who is suffering from obesity may turn out to be a happy adult or probably a very miserable person when he grows up. It all depends upon the attitude shown by the others to his or her excess weight during childhood. During adolescence, one of the most critical phases for developing a good self-esteem, it is necessary to forge an identity of security and independence and get to know their potential as an individual.

They also need social support of others whose values match their own; this will be extremely helpful to move forward with confidence to the future. This can become the time when the boy moves from dependence on people who he loves (family) to independence, and finally to trust their intuition and ideals.

If childhood has developed a strong self-esteem, it is relatively easy to overcome any crisis and reach maturity without any issues. If the boy feels depressed, he could be in potential danger, and most likely look for support from destructive sources as drug addiction. A very low self-esteem is related to a distortion of the thinking mind (wrong way of thinking).

People with don't have a healthy self-esteem have many distorted views of how his or her life works; at the same time, these people hold some extremely perfectionist demands on how thing should be or what should be happening. If you know anyone with these self-destructive symptoms, or you are personally suffering from them, please seek help as soon as possible. You can take control, and it's better to do it before it becomes uncontrollable.

Find out more about how to have self confidence. Visit Rob Hernandez site at http://mysubconsciousmind.org/confidence-building-101/ on how to learn to think positive, be happier, live life the fullest, and much more.

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Do you know that the only cause of low self esteem is old emotional baggage that remains stored in the subconscious mind weighing you down? Do you know that old negative memories at the core of this negative emotional programming leave you feeling bad about yourself, inadequate, weak, defective, vulnerable, unlovable, ashamed, guilty, worthless, lacking confidence, unattractive, useless and much more? Finally do you know that the only way to restore your self esteem and self respect is to detoxify your mind/body of this toxicity? Want to learn how this is now possible for you?

A decade ago while exploring the nature of memory it was discovered that any (and especially negative) memories could be completely and permanently erased from the subconscious mind. In other words it was possible to restore someone back to their original and pure state, that which existed prior to the negative event responsible for the negative memories in question.

Effectively this meant that a person could erase from within significant unwanted and undesirable past imprints from early life and "restore" themselves to wholeness and purity.

Now it may surprise, perhaps even shock, some of you when I say that one already existed in a pure and whole state prior to the downloading of memories that supposedly make you who you are. The fact is that they actually "do not" make you who you are rather they fool (even seduce) you into believing that you are someone other than who you are.

In other words the so called "personality" that they create is actually a "false self" and not the True Authentic You.

For instance suppose you were abandoned as a child this might have left significant emotional scars along with negative self beliefs such as: I'm unlovable, I'm defective, I'm worthless, I'm inadequate etc.

As a child such beliefs are supposedly employed to understand and explain to one's self why one was abandoned. These beliefs unfortunately stay with that person for life severely constricting their view of themselves and limiting their potential for fulfilling self expression.

It turns out that the truth about why they were abandoned often has nothing to do with them at all.

The negative memory of abandonment that remains stored within them however serves as the perpetual evidence for the negative self beliefs I noted above all of which undermine self esteem.

Well, what if those memories could be permanently deleted in such a way that the person felt they never actually happened, would this not affect their feelings and view towards self? Absolutely!

It turns out that by permanently erasing such negative memories the person progressively, cumulatively and permanently restores self esteem, self worth, self confidence, inner strength, self trust, emotional self sufficiency, sense of maturity, resilience, ability to discern what is right for them, joy, optimism, creative potential, sense of wholeness and much more.

So if you are one of those people who feels imprisoned in old emotional baggage that is destroying your self esteem and your life and you would like to be free and empowered kindly visit the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation of a special and unique process that will begin to take you there today.

Nick Arrizza M.D., a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is now an International Expert Life, Relationship & Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process®(MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Consultation and a Free E-copy of my new book are available upon request. (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

Email: drnick@telecoaching4u.com
Web Site: http://telecoaching4u.com/

Copyright©2012, Nick Arrizza, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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Do you know many people feel incapacitated in life by old emotional baggage from the past that remains stored within the subconscious mind? Do you know this baggage is stored in the form of negative limiting beliefs about one's sense of adequacy, confidence, attractiveness, effectiveness, lovability, worthiness, usefulness, and so on? Do you know that these beliefs are generated and supported by negative subconscious memories from the past that can now for the first time in human history be completely and permanently erased thereby restoring you to a whole, complete, self confident, emotionally self sufficient, effective and mature adult to name a few? Want to learn more?

Feeling immature as an adult means effectively that one still feels like a child emotionally.

So how does this happen and can it be rectified?

Well, it may surprise many of you when I say that you came into this world with all the resources you needed to function as a mature and effective human being. So why is it that many people feel ill equipped to handle adult life's challenges and responsibilities?

Well, largely because as a child the "adults" around you likely repeatedly gave you messages that reinforced beliefs like: "You have no real experience and must learn from your elders what is right for you", "You must make mistakes in order to become an effective adult", "You're stupid or unintelligent", "Your role here is to meet the needs and expectations of others and not be selfish and self serving", etc.

These "messages" became imprinted in your subconscious mind like hidden "hypnotic suggestions" that displaced your innate inner truth, and undermined your self respect, self trust, creative potential and intuition. In other words they rendered you into a, helpless, insecure, dependent and disempowered human being.

This is the state that many of you experience as "immaturity".

The veil that lies between feeling like an immature and a truly mature self directed human being is the subconscious mind "curtain" itself.

In other words one must transition from being a partially conscious being (i.e. having a mind that is partly shrouded in unconsciousness; what we refer to as the "subconscious mind") to a "fully conscious" being with no subconscious mind at all.

By conscious I mean being truly "awake" and "aware" of who you really are and what your true potential is. That potential is available to each and everyone if they are able to awaken from those toxic life destroying hypnotic messages carried within and dissolve them once and for all.

You see, those messages act much like an invisible constricting web like prison that controls and limits you in every moment.

So how does one get free of this you ask?

Negative memories of past negative events stored within you serve as the ongoing reinforcing evidence for the kind of life debilitating negative beliefs I mentioned above.

The memories remain clandestinely hidden out consciousness behind the "curtain" that ushers us into the experience of the subconscious mind. Much like computer software these memories can now be completely erased simply by bringing them into the light of day and exposing the lies about how they are supposedly useful to us.

A simple straightforward algorithm that helps one do this was developed a decade ago and has been shown to have the capacity to readily and permanently delete/erase this toxic stuff from within.

As this happens the true essence of the person and all of their positive resources (i.e. inner truth and wisdom, clarity, ability to discern, competence, efficacy, self trust, emotional independence, and sense of maturity to name a few) immediately, progressively and cumulatively get restored.

This leaves the individual feeling alive, free and fully in charge of themselves.

For those of you who long for such freedom let it be known that an experience of this is available to you by visiting the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation that will begin to give you back your life today.

Nick Arrizza M.D., a former Psychiatrist and Medical Doctor is now an International Expert Life, Relationship & Spiritual Tele-Coach, Author the developer of the powerful Mind Resonance Process®(MRP).

A Free 1 Hour Introductory MRP Telephone/Skype Consultation and a Free E-copy of my new book are available upon request. (You will be asked to cover your own long distance telephone charges)

Email: drnick@telecoaching4u.com
Web Site: http://telecoaching4u.com/

Copyright©2012, Nick Arrizza, All Rights Reserved Worldwide

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My beloved child
Break your heart no longer.
Each time you judge yourself you break your own heart.
You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.
The time has come, your time.
To live, to celebrate and see the goodness that you are...
Let no one, no thing, no idea or ideal obstruct you.
If one comes, even in the name of "Truth, " forgive it for its unknowing
Do not fight.
Let go.
And breathe - into the goodness that you are.
-Bapuji

We all have an inner critic. It's that ever present force that can tell us we're not smart enough, or good looking enough, or lovable. Maybe it tells us that our behaviors are unforgivable, or that we always screw things up. Whatever that inner critic may say to you, it's time to invite him or her to coffee and have a serious talk. This relationship is not working. You would never set up your best friend with this inner critic so why do you keep engaging in a relationship with it?

Some of my clients have told me "my inner critic keeps me in line... helps me be better," while others have just thrown up their arms in helplessness because it feels like a foreign enemy that has invaded their home and just will not leave. Whatever your reason may be, the bottom line is that listening to and believing this inner critic does not serve us. One of the most basic laws of conditioning is that if you want to increase a behavior you positively reinforce it - praise it. Berating and judging yourself does not help to prevent problematic behaviors from happening again in the future. In fact, it does just the opposite. How many times have you beaten yourself black and blue for having a few too many drinks at happy hour and sending that ridiculous text to an ex? How many times have you made yourself feel guilty for eating too much or skipping the gym? Has that mental whipping prevented you from engaging in that same behavior again? Probably not and here is why -- when we criticize ourselves we are much more likely to make choices and behave in ways that are not in line with what we really want or who we really are. Those choices come from a wounded or scared place, rather than a place that is in line with our true nature.

While you may not feel ready or able to kick the critical voice to the curb, you can start to relate to it in a different way. The first key to quieting the inner critic is just to notice it. When it rears its ugly head, just be aware of what is happening. Just say to yourself "oh, there is that mean voice again." You don't have to try to resist it or fight it, but rather just be mindful of its presence. Perhaps over time you may start to gently question its validity... look at it as a theory rather than a fact. The more we become aware of what is happening inside us the more perspective we can gain. And with perspective we can begin to see things more accurately.

So next time the inner critic comes knocking at your door, invite him or her to tea. Invite your friends compassion and forgiveness to the table as well, they will help you tell that inner critic that you aren't so scared of it anymore. Honor your true nature as a good person and don't define yourself by your actions. The more we begin to understand our true nature, the more kind and compassionate we become. When we move through the world from this space of self-love and compassion we act with integrity and grace.

Remember, our imperfections do not taint our basic goodness. And in the words of Bapuji, when you "judge yourself you break your own heart."

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Life ain't easy. Toss in some human interaction and our lives can really seem tough. Here's the deal: it's all in your head.

Building confidence is all about perception: yours and that of others. This article is all about how other people see you and the assumptions they make.

You know what stinks about not dealing with this problem now? It'll only get worse. I've never met a single person that wants to have LESS friends. Are you at the point where you've almost given up?

Don't! There is hope! Problem is, the solution starts with you. Let's take a look at 3 reasons you may be repelling instead of attracting others.

Your Breath Reeks: It may not just be your breath. It could be the way you dress (sloppy?), your lack of personal hygiene (no Old Spice?) or your weight. Some aspect of your physical being could be killing your chances. You don't have to be the best looking dude in the room, but it sure as heck helps if you're squared away. You do know they sell sugar free mint gum now, right? Don't let little bad habits get in the way of expanding your friendships. Take a personal inventory. Ask a co-worker. Ask your Mom. Find out what's repulsive and fix it.

Crappy Attitude: I like an occasional snarky joke just like the next guy, but an unending waterfall of negative jokes and comments is a quick way to NoFriendVille. Check the attitude at the door, don't joke at expense of others and focus on wearing a permagrin (not really, that would be scary). Bottom line: if you want to have the confidence to continue building great relationships, you need to have a positive and supportive attitude. Only you can fix that.

Baby in the Corner: What did Patrick Swayze say? "Nobody puts Baby in the corner." Damn straight. You should have the same attitude. Start your confidence building mission by not putting yourself in the corner. Stop being a wallflower. Get involved in the conversation. Say hello to a stranger. If you're stressed out about not being included, find a new group. Make a new group.

Did any of this resonate with you? Are you coming to the harsh reality that Bobby left you because he couldn't stand your racist jokes? Did you just remember that your last girlfriend mentioned something about a teeth cleaning before she left for good? Realizing that you never said one word in your whole semester in Wine-Making 101?

Make a conscious decision that you will start building your confidence today. Look in the mirror and make a change.

What change will you make?

Carlos Cooper is a speaker and trainer. He focuses on helping men develop their inner Warrior. A former Marine, Carlos also host a weekly radio show. Visit him online here: http://www.carloscooper.com/. Subscribe for his FREE newsletter here: http://forms.aweber.com/form/64/1923406764.htm

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Most people suffer from the effects of shyness, or low self esteem, from time to time and it can be very difficult to get past those feelings. It is far easier to lose oneself in thoughts of self-doubt or self-criticism than it is building self esteem and these are the things that bring on shyness in the first place and we must spend time building confidence if we are to get past the often devastating effects of shyness.

If one wishes to be everything they can be, it is critical that they get past their self doubt and move on toward a more confident person. Here are some tips that can help anyone do that.

Building Confidence Comes From Within

• Build the feeling of self acceptance. In other words learn to love who you are. We are all unique and special individuals, even if none of us will ever be perfect. By embracing who you are, and understanding that you have something special to give to the world, you can step out of your comfort zone and begin building confidence.

• Create a no fear mentality. There really is nothing to fear, as far is conversation is concerned, no matter where you are or who you are with. That fear of saying something wrong or doing crazy things is what holds many people back and prevents them from building self esteem.

• Believe that you are valuable. This is not going to happen with the blink of an eye, but with time you will learn to believe that you have something to offer to others. Speak to yourself about the confidence you want to gain and the very words will sink in and you will eventually become what you have predicted.

• Building confidence takes motivation. Spend time learning about what builds self esteem by listening to motivational speakers or reading their work. Learn to appreciate your strengths and tell yourself about them often.

• Self development is one of the best things you can do to start building confidence. Practice makes perfect is something I heard a lot as a child, and it serves me well in my adulthood. Through careful preparation it is possible to start building self esteem right away. Learning new things adds to your self development and increases self confidence by adding to your conversation starters.

Building Confidence From The Outside

• Create your image. Everyone knows that we are attracted to people by their looks. That does not necessarily mean that we are looking for the most beautiful features, but it does mean that we want to be around people who look good. By creating a great smile, good posture, shoulders up and head held high, you can add much to a well groomed appearance and become attractive to others.

• Learn to speak up about topics you are familiar with. The more you are able to speak with others about things you are knowledgeable about, the more you will be building confidence to face the rest of the world. You may not be the center of attention when you are engaging others in conversation, but your efforts will go a long way toward building self esteem to take you through the rest of your life.

If you work on these tips just a little every day, you will rapidly build the confidence you are seeking. It doesn't take a special gift of gab or the intelligence of a rocket scientist to develop self esteem and go beyond shyness, so get out there and make it work for you.

For more information about practical ways of building self esteem and to access personalised communication skills training visit http://www.conversationstarters.biz/

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Being more extroverted doesn't mean that you have to bounce around the room like Tigger all the time. But it does mean that you need to be more interactive than, say, a Greek statue. If the idea of being more extroverted fills you with dread then it may be time to confront your fear. Whilst this may not turn it into a totally fun activity (although you never know!), it can help to change things round from being filled with fear and dread into at least being neutral about a situation where if you're not at least vaguely extroverted you could just as well be part of the scenery.

Practice small

Unless you're on too much alcohol or something illegal, chances are that you won't make the leap from the world's number one introvert into the life and soul of the party in one step.

It's far better to build up your confidence gradually and learn how to become more extroverted in a series of gentle stages.

Unless you're a complete fan of talking to yourself, this does mean interacting with at least one other person.

So pick a non-threatening situation for your first few practices. Maybe somewhere you don't go regularly so the likelihood of ever bumping into whoever you're practicing on again in this lifetime is close to zero. Shops and public transport are good playgrounds for this.

Then decide what you're going to do.

For some people, being more extrovert in these situations means actually speaking out loud rather than making grunts at best. In which case practice your sentence (or even handful of words) over in your head enough times that you can say it without hesitation.

You may not manage to be word perfect the first few times but gradually you'll get better and be able to step this game up a notch.

Practice often

If you don't practice being an extrovert regularly - where regularly is defined as a lot more often than a blue moon - then you'll forget even the few things you've learned.

The ideal is several times a day but if you start quivering and shaking at the thought of that, once a day or even a handful of times a week is better than your current zero.

So make it your resolution that you will be more extroverted at least once a day, come hell or high water.

Be happy, even if you get it wrong

Unless you completely blunder through your practice, there's a better than even chance that the person you're practicing your new extroversion skills on won't even notice.

Deep down, they'll be worrying about their own insecurities and will be concentrating more on what they're going to say next than how you're doing.

Which actually is the real secret of becoming more extroverted: realizing that the rest of the world actually couldn't give a hoot about you most of the time. Once you do this reality check you'll come round to the way of thinking that the best approach is to enjoy yourself for once, which includes being at least a bit more extroverted than you currently are.

Get help to be more extroverted and find out how you can become more outgoing with these easy to use ideas.

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Many things happen to us in life about which we have no choice. But we have a choice about how we respond to each of these things. Trick is to utilize your physical condition as key to help you get over the edge. Underestimate the power of your body, and your mind will bear all the torture.

The skills and confidence to overcome adversity engineered in our muscles, and they are built with practice, just as we develop skills through exercise and practice. What you need to do is a combination of things to help shape your physical condition, creating a foundation so powerful they can support each other and stabilizes your physical confidence:

1. One-minute meditation each morning - upon wake up, sit in the most comfortable form possible, and give yourself a minute of silence to sort out your day, readjusting your focus from the brutal alarm clock, bad weather, or sleepiness. Just like pressing reboot on your laptop.

2. Practice yoga - strengthen your ability to relax all your muscles and give your body the capability of supporting any hardship your mind is going through. By pushing to stretch more, your body develops more flexibility and becomes more resistant to injuries. You will feel great from inside out.

3. Focus on one good thing in your life - put it in a loop and repeatedly think about what gives you the biggest smile or makes you laugh historically. The positive energy will always trump the negative, and it will lift your morals up in no time.

4. Listen to music - or do any simple activity that gives pleasure. This can even be something as basic as taking a deep breath and remembering a special place where we feel safe and happy for as long as it takes to inhale and exhale.

Having that inner focus and confidence allows one to radiate that confidence outward. It can help one smile in the face of adversity and move with outward calm through the most difficult of times. Better yet, it develops a mental attitude that allows one to think through emergencies. An attitude of centered calm can communicate itself to others through example body language. These will not only help the speaker give purposeful directions, but also the listeners to hear necessary directions.

One result of this stillness is a skill called active listening. Listening is an essential communication skill. An active listener focuses on the words the speaker is saying, but also observes body language and hears vocal intonation that may affirm or contradict the speaker's words. An active listener focuses on the speaker rather than on personal arguments with the material. Both the ability to speak clearly and the ability to listen actively are born from the ability to think calmly and hear without pre-judging content. Inner confidence will radiate outward from within, and be visible body language as well the spoken message.

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Have you noticed that the most successful women entrepreneurs have a different way of talking, thinking and being than you do? Have you watched Oprah on her TV show and thought: What a great attitude! How can I be like her?

Great news! You can be just like these women. How do you do that? By changing your attitudes and your actions, right now.

The good news is that we each have the power to change, and we can start changing whenever we want, for example, NOW.

The good news, and the bad news, is that it's our INDIVIDUAL responsibility. No one else is holding us back. So that flushing noise you hear now is all our excuses for "why things are the way they are" going down the toilet.

How do you change your attitudes? You do that by thinking different thoughts about yourself and your situation. At first, this takes conscious effort. All the strategies in this article are ways to develop an increased sense of self-confidence.

The other part is changing your actions. If what you are doing hasn't led to the success you want, however you personally and uniquely define your success, then you need to act differently. As Albert Einstein said: "Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

The combination of different attitudes and different actions leads to a different you, a more powerful you, as well as a more relaxed and loving you.

More good news: your attitudes and actions are intertwined. Once you change one of them, the other will follow.

There's tremendous power in action. If you take the right actions, success and all the associated feelings will follow along.

As you cultivate a more self-confident attitude, you will consistently feel like you are unstoppable and that feeling in turn leads you into action. Because you know what to do and you feel good about your ability to do it.

Whether you start by focusing on attitudes or on actions, you end up on a journey that includes developing a successful mindset and successful ways of acting. Eventually, all of this - the attitudes and the skills - becomes internalized and you have a new way of being. It's effortless.

Here are some techniques to help you develop an attitude of success and self-confidence.

For one week, begin your work-day with one of the first three techniques. Before you do anything else, tell yourself your WHY story, or close your eyes and envision being the Queen, or close your eyes and envision how your hero would approach the day.

During your day, if you're uncertain how to proceed, or you're feeling down, take a break and try another technique.

1. Create your own WHY story

Remind yourself why this is the right idea (e.g., being a team leader or striving for a big goal for your company), why you are the right person to be doing this, and why now is the right time. Tell yourself that story repeatedly. If you like listening to information, tape record yourself telling that story and listen to it as needed.

Reminding yourself of your story helps build self-confidence, because too often we focus on the disconnects or shortcomings in our stories. "I started studying business in college, but I never really liked that, then I got into that job in sales, but I hated my boss and the way he pressured us to get sales, and now I'm trying direct sales and who knows whether that will work!"

In your story, look for your truest skills and desires and the many ways they have appeared throughout your life. You may have always had a gift for helping people, for putting them at ease, or for educating people. You may be great with fashion and design, with technology, or at creating a beautiful home.

I have a long version of my WHY story, that starts back with getting my degree in computer science. It reminds me of my unique set of abilities (including perseverance and love of learning) and experiences (including starting my own company twice and building up a $1M+ company), and how those have shaped me and given me a gift that I am now sharing with others.

2. Envision the Queen

Imagine that you are the benevolent and absolute ruler of your kingdom. People love and admire you. You have complete power, which is made visible by the crown you wear and the golden staff you carry. Visualize yourself wearing the crown, holding your staff, walking towards the throne, and being seated. How do you feel? Next, a high-ranking official comes in to ask you the question that's been on your mind. How do you respond?

3. What would your hero do?

Choose someone you particularly admire: Oprah, the top person in your company, your spiritual hero. What would they do if they were in your shoes? It's funny how often you don't know what to do, and at the same time, you will be certain exactly what your hero would do!

4. Enlist your support system

One wrinkle on this is from Alecia Huck, a coach and motivational speaker. She has trained her girlfriends so that when she calls them in a down mood, they immediately start to remind her of how great she is. And that always works, because she gave them the script to follow!

In general, your friends and family will have a clear idea of how well-equipped you truly are for what you're doing. They can remind you that you are in fact doing the right thing, you're doing it well, and you're making a difference.

One big exception to enlisting your loved ones: you have to avoid the nay-sayers. Unfortunately, some of your loved ones may be nay-sayers. Whenever you make a change in your life, other people can feel threatened by that, either because they worry it may disrupt their existing relationship with you, or because they are projecting onto you their own fears about how they would face your challenge. If they can't support you, they at least need to stay neutral. If they can't stay neutral, you may need to avoid discussing the topic altogether.

5. Take action

Remember that attitude and action are intertwined; one affects the other. No matter how you feel now, you will feel better after you take action. I am a huge believer in the power of a positive attitude. And sometimes, it's just not present. During those times, you just need to take the next step, and then the next, no matter how you're feeling. After you've taken the action (and left your desk, taken a walk outside, called a girlfriend, had a glass of wine, and gotten a good night's sleep), you'll have a different perspective.

A big part of your success will come from managing your attitudes. Being self-confident while taking action will take you a long way on the road to success.

When next year rolls around, you can be enjoying your recent successes, radiating self-confidence and ease, and wearing a fabulous pair of shoes. You can start your journey today. The first step is easy - all you need to do is think a different thought and take a different action. It's all in your hands, and in your mind.

Call to Action

For the next 7 days, use one of the first three techniques every day. At the end of the week, ask yourself whether these techniques helped you move through your day more easily. Did you feel more confident dealing with other people? Was it easier to decide what to focus on?

If you'd like expert help in overcoming your limiting beliefs, to jumpstart your self-confidence, PLUS great business strategies to increase your client flow, then contact me for a free 30-minute Success-Building Strategy Session. We'll discuss your business goals, what's getting in your way, and how to move you forward starting right away.

Just email info@marcystahl.com and we'll schedule a time that's good for both of us.

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Adolescence can be a turbulent time for young ladies and building self esteem in teenage girls can seem like a daunting task. However, there are several things that one can do to help young women see themselves in a better light. Here are 10 helpful suggestions for building self esteem in teenage girls.

Let them know that they do not have to compete with super models. If you watch television you would think that everyone is thin, pretty, and full of poise. In reality, the world is made of people with many imperfections. This is a good subject to discuss with your teen at any time.

Ask your teen questions instead of giving orders or suggestions. Your teen is going through some major changes. Some of these changes are physical and some are emotional. When you ask someone to do something you are showing respect for them as a person.

Try to find ways to treat teens as adults. Teens are not mature adults, but they are no longer little children either. One of the biggest complaints that young ladies have is their parents treat them as children. Maybe you can extend their curfew a bit or add other privileges. If you are interested in building self esteem in teenage girls, let them know that they are becoming young women.

Maybe your young lady has problems with acne or her weight. Personal appearance is extremely important at this age. Let her know that you are there to help in any way. Schedule a doctor appointment, as sometimes this can help. In any manner, your teen needs to know that she can call on you for anything at anytime.

Set a good example. Kids learn so much from watching their parents. If you think your teen has a problem with self esteem, she may have learned it from you. Think about how you conduct yourself around others. If you think that you have a low opinion of the person in your mirror, then maybe you should work on that first before helping your teen.

You cannot stop classmates from teasing your teenage girl. However, you can discuss the matter with her. If you think that your teen is being harassed it is important to do something about it. This kind of thing can wreak havoc with confidence at this age. Let your teen know that people with the most inner problems do the most teasing to draw attention away from themselves. This may not be the solution, but it may help her to understand others a little better. In any manner, take these matters seriously and seek out school officials if you must.

If you are thinking about building self esteem in teenage girls, encourage them to write a diary or journal. Let them know that no one else will be reading it, and it is vital to respect their privacy. When a girl sits and writes about her problems, it provides an outlet for many frustrations. It also gives her a chance to come back later and closely examine her thoughts, desires, fears, and private feelings.

Teach your teen the importance of confidence and not taking what others think too seriously. You cannot fix everything that is wrong with her. In fact, that is the last thing that she probably wants. She wants someone to love, care for, and understand her. She wants someone to be on her side no matter what. When building self esteem in teenage girls, this is something that you as a parent can do.

You may need to spend more time with your young lady. It does not have to cost a lot of money. Maybe you can walk together in the evenings. Walking is great exercise and it gives you the chance for some one on one conversation. Simply tell her that you need to start walking and you would like to have some company when you walk. Do not insinuate that the walking is for her benefit. Simply tell her that you need a walking buddy.

When building self esteem in teenage girls try learning something new with her. Maybe you want to study a foreign language or learn how to play chess. The time together can be very therapeutic for both of you.

For more information on building self esteem in teenage girls, and other topics on self esteem, gaining courage, strength and confidence. Go to http://www.eselfesteem.org/ here you will more interesting articles.

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