Self Esteem

"What lies behind you and what lies in front of you, pales in comparison to what lies inside of you." -Ralph Waldo Emerson

It's funny how we've spent our whole life with ourselves, but sometimes the person in the mirror can be the hardest one to get to know. And it goes without saying that it's difficult to truly appreciate something or someone you don't understand. When building confidence and self-esteem, the single most important thing you can do is to rebuild the internal relationship that you have with yourself. Numbers speak volume and it's difficult for negativity to go up against the positive power of Me, Myself and I.

Before diving into how to get to know yourself better and reconstructing self-trust, it's important to begin by making a commitment to stand by the single person who has a hand in all of your decisions, you. Here is an Affirmation of Inner Beauty taken from The Seeds of Beauty, to remind you of the relationship you must continually build with yourself no matter what your stage in life.

[Speak Your Name],

To you, I will never be a fair weather friend.

When you are afraid, I will give you the courage to step forward,

If ever you make a mistake, I will never lose faith in you.

And when you begin to doubt how beautiful you are, I will remind you.

Today and every day I promise to always stand by you.

You are me. I am you.

I Love You.

Print this affirmation and post it in a visible place within your office or home.

It comes as no surprise that building a positive self-esteem starts with getting to know yourself again and this will require that you regularly devote some down-time to spend with yourself. What's your favorite movie, place to visit or song to listen to? Set aside time in your schedule to do these things. Fall in love with who you are by supporting yourself and bringing out the best in you through your interests.

What can action steps can I take to build a better relationship with myself?

When we're on a date and getting to know someone, the first thing we do is ask questions. So why not do the same for yourself? Start by asking yourself the following:

What values are important to me?What are my dreams for the future?What makes me afraid?What do I dislike?How do I envision myself to be?The thing that would mean the most to me right now is...

The key is to be honest in your answers. Pay attention to your likes/dislikes. What things are hardest for you to admit to yourself?

After letting myself down so many times in the past, I struggle with trusting myself. What can I do to reconnect?

Reconnecting to who you are and building a better relationship with yourself begins with forgiveness. We all make mistakes and if you hold your mistakes over your head like a guillotine ready to punish you the each time you make a mistake, you do yourself more harm than good. Take a blank sheet of paper and fill in the following sentence:

I forgive myself for...
List out every misstep that has made you angry, every mistake that has made you ashamed, and every mistake that has made you feel less than yourself. With the same kindness that you would show a friend, read each sentence aloud. As you read each sentence, allow yourself to gently let it go and ultimately heal.

A fashion stylist and former women's fit technologist, author Lakeysha-Marie Green utilizes her experience in the fashion industry combined with her personal journey to self-discovery to help women transform their appearance from the inside out. Her first book, The Seeds of Beauty, tells an inspiring story of restoring unconditional self-love and genuinely radiating your beauty from within. Visit http://www.theseedsofbeauty.com/ and download your Free Inner Beauty Affirmation to begin your own beautiful makeover today.

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Do you want to be the perfect YOU? The truth is that the perfect YOU already exists! You just need to uncover it in order to discover it. Having high self-esteem makes all the other things in your life much easier. Think about all the skills and talents that you have. If you will have the confidence to really use them they will become much more useful to you. The capacity to boost your self esteem will open many new doors in your life.

Before looking at the strategies for building higher self esteem let's have a look at what keeps you away from having it.

Approval addicted... When you have the feeling that the approval or the disapproval of other people has too much effect on the way you feel about yourself just stop giving so much weight to them. The opinion of others is based on their beliefs and has nothing to do with you. There will always be someone who has an opinion about you.

To expect perfection... Nobody is good at being perfect because it is never achievable. It is great looking for more possibilities once you reached a level of perfection. But don't always ask for perfection in order to feel useful.

Your Mood... We all sometimes have emotional conditions where we don't feel confident. But people who acquired a sense of self esteem that is detached from their feelings are able to keep the sense of self-worth even if their feelings are hurt. There will be different times when you are tired, frustrated or depressed but you should not allow these emotions to influence your view of yourself.

Building Strong Self-Esteem

Now let's have a look at a few ways to build a strong self esteem.

Self-Talk. Certain things will harm your self esteem even more that the way that you talk to yourself. The voice that you hear in your head strongly influences you. If you want to raise your self esteem you have to pay attention to your self-talk and start talking to yourself so that you will build self-respect. Make a list of positive affirmations.

Your Strengths. Don't concentrate on correcting your weaknesses but rather focus on building your strengths.

Active Involvement. Self esteem is best manifested in actions therefore come up with a list of goals that will help you feel more comfortable and get to work on them. Finally set up the plan of action for achieving them. These behaviors will influence your beliefs about yourself and raise your self esteem.

http://www.bodybeautysoul.com/

Go ahead and set your first goal right now, and get to work!

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It's amazing how we are sometimes controlled by others. Not only physically, but emotionally.

What is the one thing you have always wanted to do and never did because of people's opinions or disparaging remarks?

When we are young, we have our parents to tell us what is right or wrong, or tell us what we must or must not do. Well, we are beyond that now We are grown ups and should be able to decide what we want to do with our lives. That's all well and good, but as we get older we are afraid to make a change and sometimes we ask others for their advice. We think it is a method of security to ask others if we should do something or not, but it can be discouraging and a real downer.

I had always wanted to go to college. My parents were able to afford it, but back in the 50's it wasn't stressed as much as it is now. Especially for women, college wasn't stressed, or if you did go, they figured you would be married at a young age, have a family and your college education would go to the wayside. I never fought or persisted the idea of going to college. It was different then. Now, of course, college is encouraged for women and men. I did well even though I didn't go to college, working in an office with a few business courses under my belt, but it wasn't what I really wanted to do.

One of my goals was to learn Italian. I am presently taking a course now. It's not easy, especially when you get older to retain what you learn. However, I am sticking with my guns and I am determined to learn Italian. My dad was born in Sicily, and I always promised him I would eventually learn Italian and I will. I am only sorry that he isn't around to hear me speak his native tongue.

Instead of going to college, I worked for a while, met my husband of 43 years, and had three children and three grandchildren. I wouldn't trade them for the world. They are a major part of my life. I started to paint again, which was also one of my earlier goals, after my youngest daughter and son left the nest. I had all those rooms in the house that were empty. One of them had to be a studio... for moi. I started painting with watercolor and also began my business shortly thereafter.

I am now writing books--women's fiction. Writing is one of the next goals I had set for myself and I am enjoying this more than anything else. My books are here to encourage women to follow their dreams and not be discouraged no matter what anyone says.

You are the master!

You control your desires!

Go out there and find what you left behind many years ago!

Maybe you would like to extend your education, loss weight, travel, learn a language, open a business, or just get in touch with someone you haven't seen in a while or someone you have drifted apart from. This is the time to do it... don't wait and say I should have, could have. Do It! You will be a better person for making up your own mind. You will feel good about yourself. And others will admire you. You will certainly get a boost of self-confidence. After all, don't all people, young or old, need a boost once in a while?

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"Today, I will have no competition or comparison. I will simply be me, and that is enough." -Unknown

It's safe to say that I was never meant to be anyone other than myself. So, what was with this business of comparing myself to someone else?

Honestly? Sometimes it made me feel better about myself but more often than not I felt worse. It may seem obvious, but one of the most challenging things for me to grasp was the internal damage done to ourselves through comparison. By comparing ourselves to others, we diminish the light that allows us to shine the brightest and be the best at the only thing that truly matters; being ourselves.

There is no person who can smile like you, no person who can light up the room with your laugh nor is there anyone who can replicate the beautiful thing that happens when you put your heart to something. We all feel the pull of our imperfections from time to time, but just remember that the only person who can ever go the furthest in your life, is you.

What is one of the most important steps that I take to stop comparing myself to others?

Get to the heart of the matter. Identify and acknowledge specifically what it is that causes you to compare yourself to others. Are you afraid that you will not be appreciated and accepted as you are? Has someone repeatedly told you that you were not as good as someone else? Is comparison a tool that you use to justify your current state (i.e. I'll never be as successful as her because... )?

By acknowledging and addressing these vulnerabilities, you allow yourself to heal.

When I read statuses on Facebook or run into old friends, I begin comparing myself to others and it can easily get me down. How can I change this?

Recognize and remind yourself that you have your own unique path to follow. Your happiness is not created nor determined by someone else's journey, it's determined by yours. Each bend in the road, every break down and every triumph has shaped you into the person you are today. Never let anyone take that wisdom, strength and courage from you through comparison. Send them a blessing for their happiness and shine at the one thing they can never do -being you.

How can I identify the good things about me?

When you are caught up in the comparison game it's hard to see how valuable you are as a person because you shadow your own assets with another's achievements. Here are two ways that you can jump-start the internal conversation of why you rock:

Think about your life 5 years ago and your life right now. What are three things that you can do today that you were unable to do before?List out at minimum three things that you are good at. Think about what you are passionate about, or think of the times when you received positive feedback and gratitude from others.

Celebrate these strengths and review how you can apply them to your life on grander scale for a more fulfilling existence.

A fashion stylist and former women's fit technologist, author Lakeysha-Marie Green utilizes her experience in the fashion industry combined with her personal journey to self-discovery to help women transform their appearance from the inside out. Her first book, The Seeds of Beauty, tells an inspiring story of restoring unconditional self-love and genuinely radiating your beauty from within. Visit http://www.theseedsofbeauty.com/ and download your Free Inner Beauty Affirmation to begin your own beautiful makeover today.

View the original article here